How to Be a Studio Cat
Hello, humans. My name is Wally Phillips. AKA Wally West, Wallace Wade, WallyWallyWally, and what seems to be my parent’s favorite, “Wally, Get Down!” I am the Head of HR for Music on The Move Studios which means I make sure all of the humans here get in their mandatory snuggle breaks and don’t forget to eat. Most importantly, they don’t forget to feed me.
Being a studio cat and Head of HR is hard work but, I am happy to do it. If you are a new kitten to the studio world, here are some helpful tips to ensure maximum productivity and creativity.
Find your spots. It is essential to establish your spot and/or spots in the studio. These are usually the warm places your human inhabits. Whether or not your human is still in said spot, claim it as your own. Establish a comfortable position for you with complete and utter disregard for your human’s personal space because this space, right now, is the best space and you simply must be there.
Other acceptable spots include: the top of chairs, the middle of the floor, the windowsill, a table and/or desk (irrelevant if there are items on top of these spaces. Sit on them.)
Remind humans of mandatory breaks. Breaks are essential to your human’s mental health and workspace productivity so, in order to ensure maximum happiness and workflow, remind your humans of their break time. This can be done by meowing incessantly until they get up from their chair to come find you. You can also hop into their lap without warning and demand pets. Best practices include but are not limited to: presenting your rear hind quarters and putting your tail in their face, pawing at their extremities to remind them of your presence, interrupting meetings, sessions, and lessons to make sure the other humans know it is time for a break, and last but certainly not least, knocking things over.
Finding time to yourself. Being a studio cat is hard work, make no doubt about that! It is important to make sure you take regular naps throughout your day so you can make sure you are ready to give your humans a bright and fuzzy wake up call. So, make sure to take regular naps. Roughly 10-12 a day, if not a few more in the evening to ensure that you are ready to go when the time comes to do it all again the next day!
So as you can see, my young furry friend, being a studio cat is no small feat. It is to be taken seriously. Just remember, should you be so lucky to become a studio cat, you are the most important thing in the room. Without you, the studio would not function properly. The music would not be made. Creativity would cease to exist. Take your job seriously and always remember, when in doubt: knock it over.